| | i remember two years ago, i stood in a pool hall, staring at leslie, and wondering if it was all really just a dream. I dreamt so many times abt seeing her, so much that, when i finally saw her, it felt surreal. Today I had the same feeling.
Everyday after work, I will walk past the same river, lit up with christmas lights strung all the way along the park beside it. kei sut i think its really romantic, to walk with someone down that path at night. but i dont think ill ever really get the chance to do that~ coming to hk, I dont think ive ever felt so alone in my life. somehow, coming to hk made me realize how much i depend on my friends, and how much they mean to me. but at the same time i realize that nobody really relies on me. what i have to offer to my friends, is very insignificant. why is that?
yuen loi i am not good at making anyone happy at all~ I am only good at making myself happy by burdening my friends. everyone is so used to a me that is surrounded by friends, surrounded by creeps, and never stops for anyone or anything. and ive spent a lot of the past 2 years, trying to keep my standards high, to fulfill my friends expectations...
im tired of all of it... n after being alone for the past 2 months, i just want to be alone. Ive become used to eatting dinner by myself.. walking home by myself, going everywhere by myself. Nobody here in hk needs me~ so shouldnt I be very happy since i dont have to fulfil any expectations at all?
everyone i know, they all have really close childhood friends, they all have a tight group. I never had friends growing up, and I never made any close friends before i went to university. I wont ever know what it feels like to feel needed by a friend. so is that a good thing?
in the end, i really do have myself, and only myself
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| | Posted 7/29/2008 2:32 PM - 60 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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