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| 232i remember two years ago, i stood in a pool hall, staring at leslie, and wondering if it was all really just a dream. I dreamt so many times abt seeing her, so much that, when i finally saw her, it felt surreal. Today I had the same feeling.
Everyday after work, I will walk past the same river, lit up with christmas lights strung all the way along the park beside it. kei sut i think its really romantic, to walk with someone down that path at night. but i dont think ill ever really get the chance to do that~ coming to hk, I dont think ive ever felt so alone in my life. somehow, coming to hk made me realize how much i depend on my friends, and how much they mean to me. but at the same time i realize that nobody really relies on me. what i have to offer to my friends, is very insignificant. why is that?
yuen loi i am not good at making anyone happy at all~ I am only good at making myself happy by burdening my friends. everyone is so used to a me that is surrounded by friends, surrounded by creeps, and never stops for anyone or anything. and ive spent a lot of the past 2 years, trying to keep my standards high, to fulfill my friends expectations...
im tired of all of it... n after being alone for the past 2 months, i just want to be alone. Ive become used to eatting dinner by myself.. walking home by myself, going everywhere by myself. Nobody here in hk needs me~ so shouldnt I be very happy since i dont have to fulfil any expectations at all?
everyone i know, they all have really close childhood friends, they all have a tight group. I never had friends growing up, and I never made any close friends before i went to university. I wont ever know what it feels like to feel needed by a friend. so is that a good thing?
in the end, i really do have myself, and only myself
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| do you remember?do you know what today is?
a year ago today, i met you for the first time.
there you were, standing there in a sea of people,
and for a moment, time stopped.
i still remember.
a year ago,
15 hours from now will be the first time i saw you.
7 days from now, you would have been in portland, texting me 10 times an hour.
9 days from now, will be the first time i ever drank, and it will have been with you.
right after that, we would have went to see a meteor shower together
15 shooting stars later, we will go home
on the 13th, i took 4 pictures with you. we drew on them for 2 hours.
you were there for me when i ran away from her, and when i was out on the streets.
you took care of me.
the day i left, we ran around the airport,
i even missed my flight.
we lived each minute like it was our last together,
because it was.
and one year later im still wondering why i ever left.
i miss you.
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| so this one time i was sitting here wondering how the crap everything turned out the way it did over the past half a year. what ive come to realize is that if you want someone to change, whether its for better or for worse, you should only expect to see changes if that person can truly understand why you want that person to change, because when that person truly understands, he/she will become motivated to change.
Im tired of being a nice guy lu... tired of relying on someone, and sucking at taking care of myself. Its time i started to walk on my own. What happened in the past, even in the recent past, as of now, i will not let it burden me anymore. screw thermo. im going to do better next time. forget emily. i dont even know if i ever really liked her anyway.
if i continue feeling bad for everything i feel ive done wrong in the past, if i keep hating myself, regretting my past actions and over analyzing every single thing, im going to finish last.
總覺得有少少唔安樂， 不果我絕對無後悔，因為我有曾經想擁有過。
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| time will heal [ everything ]there she was, sitting two tables behind me
i didn't even dare look back
but i didn't need to, because the tears had already started flowing.
and then i met you.
and life couldnt be happier
at first...
i thought you could help me move on
i thought you understood
i thought you really cared
but now i know
you won't even listen
you aren't even willing to give me a chance
you wont even give me a reason
i don't know what i did wrong
why won't you be the girl i fell in love with?
thats why i wont care anymore
until you care.
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| Take 2 So despite being completely screwed for calc cuz my doctors note has some SERIOUS complications, I wanna turn your attention to this: 
If you guys got time this month, on the last friday and saturday of this month, which is the 27/28th, please come to my church to watch a drama I'm doing =) hahah it's my third year, and it could be my last... cuz next spring ill be in school (if i can manage to make it into 3rd year) Oh btw its all in canto. so if you can read, uhh the info is at the bottom of this pic http://tjcac.org/drama/poster_sm.jpg Its on April 27th (friday) and April 28th (saturday)
Starts at 8:00pm
For directions to my church click here anyway, come... and you get to see me put on makeup =D | | |
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